Domestic goddess I do not pretend to be. However there is only so much even I can take. So in light of a fellow Blogger I decided to go on strike this week. Well.  I stopped doing the washing of any clothes - which of course has backfired enormously (quite literally!).  Two huge laundry baskets are now overflowing.  I think I may have shot myself in the foot.  

So there I was at 6am loading the washing machine muttering to myself - I mean, who else would have been up? Even the bloody dog was still napping!  I did manage to show them all how to use the washing machine but I'm not sure it sunk in with any of them.  DS did manage to vacuum and DD did dust her bedroom but that was it. I'm not asking too much of them am I?

Well anyway it was a very productive day. I managed to get quite a bit done and ready by early evening as myself and DH were off out with friends locally.  I'm not quite ready to let the children stay at home alone so arranged for the in laws to pop round for a couple of hours.

DD was still out to meet the boyfriend again - although apparently he is not the "boyfriend", I can't get my head around their relationships these days what with snaking, married and in a relationship on FB, but then I'm not supposed to am I?  She came back not long after we went out so once again has done as I asked - still feel that maybe she is angling for something.

DS on the other hand is morphing into something else. Woah! Stop right there.  Both days on the weekend he has communicated via a series of grunts or when he has spoken it was to complain about everything I did e.g. It's my fault his haircut is too short (well actually it is because I asked my hairdresser to cut it so!).  But it's not MY fault his shoes are annoying him or his trousers are too short! Talk about hormonal - it's bloody wearing at the moment.

He has a Maths test this week and because he doesn't like it he is revising very little. In fact, so little I'm sure he won't get anywhere and he doesn't even seem bothered! (Really struggling with keeping back when it comes to him - he is not as academic as his sister)

Ooooh! Must say though  DS is loving reading - on his own terms admittedly which means bed time and no other time but he lies with me and reads to himself and then we chat about it afterwards before he goes off to sleep.  Very tender moments.

DD has so many tests/homework it's hard to keep track. Just found out she has a Sociology test tomorrow but she is happy she has done enough work and so, I am still backing off.  Not sure if it is working.  Let's see what happens when the results come out.

Anyway I am exhausted.  Let's watch some trash TV and return at a later date.

Average day today

Just your average day today.  No rows  although there nearly was one.  I came home after being to the gym to find no-one at home.  Quickly realised DH still in work and DS was walking the dog.  When I phoned to find out where DD was she replied "out" (really? I just thought you were pretending not to be here!) Turns out she has arranged to meet the new boyfriend. "What new boyfriend?" I here you ask.  Well truth be told he's not new.  She had a few dates with him before but with her school and sport commitments during the 2 or so months they dated she only saw him twice!

So. He's back on the scene.  Should I be afraid? I'm too afraid to commit to the Blog the various scenarios that I have put her in but I'm sure any other Mum or Dad can see where I'm coming from. I'm full of questions too. What do his parents do? What is he studying in school? What are his plans? What do you talk about with him? What do you do with him? - no STOP right there! I can't think about this anymore!!!

Trouble is I know at her age all the girls want a boyfriend and I don't not want her to but on my terms (I know I know not bloody likely).

Anyway she was out for quite some time.  Came home at the time that I asked her to but disappeared into her bedroom and hasn't been seen since.  Is this behaviour normal? I don't like it.  I want the child that always told me everything and wanted to spend time with me and did as she was told to return.

On a different note  I've been thinking about DS and the amount of time he spends out on his bike/skateboard and computer games and I realised something.  He does not read anything.

So I have set myself a target - to get DS to read something albeit a magazine/newspaper/encyclopedia/novel.  There are plenty of books in this house as I am an avid reader and both children over the years have amassed some good books. I did encourage him to start reading again last year and we went and bought some books. Indeed we actually took a lot of time seeking suitable books that he thought would interest him. But he never read them.  Why?  We always read to both of them as babies and as toddlers. In fact until the middle of Primary School we read to them and then they read to us. So why do they not bother anymore? Is it the fact that there are far too many other distractions - electronic or otherwise?

Anyway the target has been set - in my head - and I am about to send DS off to bed with a book.  Let's see how this effort pans out eh?

Will I ever stop worrying???

Smug? Who me?

End of the half term holiday and the week has ended eerily calm. 

DD has done plenty of homework and has managed to behave impeccably as well and for that I am truly grateful!  I am still holding back and letting her manage her own work - she has a test on Wednesday that she has not revised for but feels confident as is having a lesson on tomorrow and will work on the subject from there.  I do want to make her do more but I am learning to let her do it on her own. Hard but I'm doing it.

On another note I took DS shopping for clothes this week and boy can he shop like a pro! Very impressed.  He knew exactly what he wanted and we managed to buy lots of bit and bobs - some for now and some for Christmas.  He carried bags for me and we had an enjoyable lunch too!

I feel quite smug today relishing in the fact that both my children have been like little angels! I know that I will have many more days of arguments and fights but days like these make it all worthwhile. Long may it last!

Half Term with no rows yet

Right, what happened? 

One day I had 2 children lets call them DD and DS.  If I ever went anywhere and came back they would literally run to the front door or if unable to would shout "Mummy!" in the most excited voices ever eagerly awaiting a hug and kiss from me.  However this appears to have been lost in the dim past as discovered yesterday when I came back from the gym and DD didn't even notice that I had gone and DS (13) welcomed me with a lovely grunt. No warm welcome for me.

I spent some time at a friends yesterday afternoon (any escape from my house at the moment - half term) only to find out that DD has plenty of homework to do over the holidays and am pretty sure that she told me she had  none.  Popped home to find DD very studious working her way through her GCSE English.  (I know, I know what does she want? More of that later)

"I have to critique Miss Havisham" she says; Wow I say, I did that, I love her. In fact Helena Bonham Carter is playing her in the film which is out later this month, shall we go and see it together? I ask.  "This is why I didn't tell you about my homework because you get too cosy, I'm fine thanks" she turns away and carries on.  Queue me to leave the bedroom.

Wow. That really hurt. I stood there for a second but felt like 10 minutes really shocked. Why doesn't she want my help? Why can't I sit with her and chat like we used to?

Took me a lot of courage to walk out the door without saying anything - if you knew me you'd know that I usually would not let that go without giving at least a 15 minute lecture (borefest) on 'I'm only asking as I care/am worried/want to help'.  But I have to let you in on a secret,  I have had a little help with this.  I have finally been reading the book recommended on Mumsnet regarding teenagers and their behaviour and it is slowly falling in to place. I know that teens brains work very differently and that there is a big struggle within themselves but how they behave and why is so wonderfully explained that it makes things, almost, ok.

Well, I neglected to say that one reason DD is doing homework apart from because she has so much to do is the fact that her and 11 other girls are off to a Halloween party in the City.  We are cutting the apron strings as mums and allowing them to go by minibus 20 miles down the road to an organised U18's disco.  They are then all staying at one girls house - Queue the panic now.  Will the bus driver get them there safely? Are there seatbelts on the bus? Will they all get in? Have they remembered their tickets? Will they stay together? Will they all catch bus back? What happens if they get ill in the night? Will any of them drink? What if they meet boys? and on and on and on

Now I realise that in the cold light of day this is hilarious, bordering on pathetic. They are all 14/15 and as parents we have all angles covered e.g. minibus hired from reputable company; party all checked out; and also we do have to give them some credit as they lurch down the slope from being children to adults.  They have to learn to look after themselves but the worry never stops does it?

I have to admit I gave in and did text DD to check she was alright and had no reply until they were back at friends house "sorry" she wrote, "left my phone back at (friends) house so only just got your text we are all back and having pizza". Ah, so now I can sleep without worrying.  

So now it seems that I am the one eagerly anticipating their return - case of role reversal....

Well what do you know.  I go out shopping on my own after visiting friends and happen to end up finding 2 rather pretty dresses that DD may like for the next party she goes to. Pick her up later from her drama class - she opens the bag and discounts one dress as her friend has it and the other she does not like.

She tries the one she does not like on when she gets home and guess what? Loves it - not to self: don't take DD shopping next time.  Go alone it is certainly more productive!

Not a bad day then..

Who's shoes??

Good day today.

Took DD dress shopping for a party on Tuesday evening and shoes for tonight; however‚  everything she liked did not fit (not that I saw that as I wasn't allowed into the dressing room) - I was only allowed to see what she did like‚  which was nothing.  She got into a strop with herself which was amusing.  I did as promised and held back from saying anything that could have been considered as starting an argument e.g. That looks nice etc.

Instead I just agreed that there was nothing in the shops‚  absolutely nothing‚  that was good enough for her and that everything else was rubbish (Fact is I saw so many lovely things she could have worn but it just wasn't worth pointing it out - made that mistake initially and got shot down in flames). Did have a chuckle to myself as I had  a flashback to when I was her age going shopping with my mother.

Funniest part was when she took herself off to buy a chilli chicken wrap because she was "stressed"; hilarious - actually offered to buy me something "my treat" she shouts as she wanders off to the food counter...

Anyway on return I took her to a fancy dress shop for Halloween outfit (Wednesday's party) and she found one immediately! If only dress shopping was as simple. Did suggest she wore her fancy dress outfit to the party on Tuesday but she ignored that one.

DS has been out playing all day with his mates and not been an ounce of trouble today - having said that just phoned him to say not to stay out too much longer as getting dark and he is over the other side of town with his friends and says he is in no rush to return home.  Just dropped casually into conversation that meatballs were on the menu this evening so don't think he will be too much longer!

Ah‚ off to the party she goes with her friends but DD has no coat and no bag - where does she 

keep her money? Down her bra!! Plus she must be freezing - apparently not!

Dropped the girls off but wasn't allowed to hang around just drop off and disappear.

Now sat in my pj's watching X Factor waiting for her return; fingers crossed she's had a good 

time. Have to say‚  she did look lovely going out tonight - IN MY SHOES!!!!

No tears or tantrums tonight but working up to being allowed to Saturdays party!  Both tests went "ok".  Today was the last day in school for DD as inset day tomorrow and half term next week. 

DS done all his homework as soon as he came home from school but if it earns him brownie points and gets it out the way for the week then he's happy! He will also only do the minimum required.

DD came to the gym with me tonight and made more of an effort than usual but that may be due to none of her friends being there so she had to exercise or talk to me!!

Once home she wanted to watch TV with me tonight so we watched Waterloo Road‚ mobile phone in hand in her case‚  but at least we are in the same room and are talking. Am walking on egg shells though as when I start to talk about things she doesn't want to talk about the tone in her voice changes immediately; I don't know what these things are so the only warning I get is when her tone alters. It's like walking through a bloody minefield.  I need a map please...

Teenagers are such strange creatures.  I have ordered a book recommended by someone on Mumsnet (dispatched today) which allegedly will put their tantrums into some kind of context.  Apparently some part of their brain shuts down as they are developing - pretty sure most of DD's shuts down when I talk to her. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day.

On a plus side I'm in work. On another plus side I'm out in the evening and they are staying with their Nanny.  Am I a bad mother for relishing this fact?